She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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