I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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