do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
