Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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