she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
