I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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