butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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