just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
