Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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