We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
