This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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