His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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