Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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