im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
