I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
