I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
babies were throwing up all over the place
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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