he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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