Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize