I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
