I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Mom said you looked used
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
