Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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