I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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