We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
