and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
