Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
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I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
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FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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