I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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