My first STD was from a foam party
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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