You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
