we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.