So drunk its hurt
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
