OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.