I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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