You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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