I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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