conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize