How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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