im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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