went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
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I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
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I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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