My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i wish my penis had a tongue
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I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
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I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.