no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.