I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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