**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
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found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
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I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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