Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
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I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
The air taste purple.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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