just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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