There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize