There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
