Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Found the puke drawer
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
