I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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