You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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