One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
