How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize