and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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