If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
3 2 1 whiskey
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize