You made me cry and you don't even care
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
