Betty ford says i'm here all night
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
