Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
