what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
