We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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