I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
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