Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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