is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize