Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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